...Is there truly a forever?
Love feels like forever, until forever breaks without warning.
LOVE.
I always believe love is a beautiful thing soft, consuming, and quietly life-changing in ways words can barely hold.
Meeting someone at an unexpected place and unexpected time in your life, probably exchange glances, hold for a couple of minutes, moments that feel longer than they should and eventually exchange contacts, not knowing that something small has already begun to grow.
At this point you’re anticipating that first call, almost counting the hours, replaying their voice in your head and when it finally happens, you can feel your heart jump in excitement and butterflies in your belly of course: restless, alive, unable to stay still.
Then the constant conversation, exchanging ideas, talking about anything and everything like time doesn’t exist anymore, giggling at compliments that suddenly mean more than they should, laughing out so loud at jokes that aren’t even that funny but it’s them. You feel lighter, the warm warmers wrap around you, and this time the sun doesn’t burn your skin anymore, it just glows, softer, kinder, like the world has adjusted itself around how you feel.
Apparently, you meet again a couple of times, holding onto every moment, and you find out the chemistry is irresistible and electrifying. The type that makes your heart race without warning, the type that makes you want to get into their skin, kiss passionately and forget everything else because they matter no more, because in that moment, it’s just you and them, and nothing else exists.
Safe to say that LOVE brings out the second phase of puberty, or rather, is a walk back to how it all started How your body started growing without your permission, how everything felt new and confusing and intense. The part where you notice your yearnings more deeply, the part that stands, that softens, the part that wants all the attention and changes your dress sense without you even realizing it. Your body becomes rebellious, but a mandatory one, like it has chosen a language of its own, one that only love understands.
I think that is what love does. One moment you’re figuring your life with the “I want to do this,” carefully mapping your own path, and the next moment, there is a substitute with WE! a shift so subtle yet so powerful. You start learning from someone, growing in ways you didn’t plan, becoming emotionally intelligent, attentive to their spoken and unspoken needs, reading between silences, caring in ways that feel both natural and overwhelming. Then again your body starts wanting certain things with them: lone moments that stretch into memories, dates that feel like small worlds, trips that feel like escapes, checking routines and most times each other in nasty ways.
Love is such a beautiful experience, deep, consuming, and unforgettable in the way it marks you.
In drama, there is always a tragic comedy, comedy-comedy, comedy-tragedy. But with love, is there such a thing as a happy ending? Is there truly a forever in love? Or is forever just a feeling we borrow in the moment?
Loving someone loudly, intensely, fiercely through all and all and one of you have to watch each other go forever. Unfortunately, there is no closure in such situations. Just silence. Just memories. Heartbroken, the other partner is expected to live as though nothing happened, like life didn’t steal from them, like grief can be controlled, like the heart can simply forget what it once held so tightly.
Does this mean we shouldn’t fall in love?
Of course not.
One should even fall harder than the first time they knew, fearlessly, wholeheartedly, without holding back. Love intensely because you just have one chance to do so, one life to feel this deeply. It always feels like forever but what is the guarantee of forever? Or lovers passing on simultaneously, hand in hand, never having to feel the absence of each other?
Love is scary, deeply, painfully, beautifully scary. But that’s one scare to embrace, one risk worth taking, so no matter what happens, you can live with no regrets, knowing that at some point, in some moment, you felt something real and you gave it everything.
You gave it your all.